you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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