i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
