you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The uberlube is also flammable
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
