so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
