what if every blade of grass was a penis?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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