i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
