Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
