So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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