Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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