sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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