i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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