alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
