he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think people are normalizing furries
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
