Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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