But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Randomize
