found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
