i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
