so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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