You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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