I just saw a hot homeless man
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize