she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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