:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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