Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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