dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
