Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
