I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
