Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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