i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
