C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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