Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
