Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
