I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
