You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
