I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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