Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
