Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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