He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
