Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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