You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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