How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
