i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
