So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
