AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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