when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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