His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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