I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
