i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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