walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
