Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
