Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
