Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
