Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize