Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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