they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
