i just wanna soil my oats bro
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
