Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
