it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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