I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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