Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
