you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i permit you to call me
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
farters have to be the big spoon...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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