Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
