so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
